reviews

Exploring the Dark Fae World in ‘Servant of Earth’

by Stefani

Servant of Earth by Sarah Hawley

Published: November 12, 2024 by Ace

Buy this book at: Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo

Synopsis:

In the underground Fae realm, only the strongest and most ruthless have power—but a young human woman forced into a life of servitude is about to change everything.

Kenna Heron is best known in her village for being a little wild—some say “half feral”—but she’ll need every ounce of that ferocity to survive captivity in the cruel Fae court.

Trapped as a servant in the faeries’ underground kingdom of Mistei, Kenna must help her new mistress undertake six deadly trials, one for each branch of magic: Fire, Earth, Light, Void, Illusion, and Blood. If she succeeds, her mistress will gain immortality and become the heir to Earth House. If she doesn’t, the punishment is death—for both mistress and servant.

With no ally but a sentient dagger of mysterious origins, Kenna must face monsters, magic, and grueling physical tests. But worse dangers wait underground, and soon Kenna gets caught up in a secret rebellion against the inventively sadistic faerie king. When her feelings for the rebellion’s leader turn passionate, Kenna must decide if she’s willing to risk her life for a better world and a chance at happiness.

Surviving the trials and overthrowing a tyrant king will take cunning, courage, and an iron will… but even that may not be enough.

Rating:

Review:

This book wasn’t really on my radar at all when the new year started, until I saw it listed as a newly available audiobook from the library. So, always keen on starting a new romantasy series, I dove in. And, I was pleasantly surprised!

The characters in this one were very good. I found them nuanced and realistic. Although some of their interactions and motivations were a little predictable, the narrative was interesting enough that I didn’t mind the predictability too much. The handsome charming Fire prince, the cold and distant Void prince….if you’ve ever read a romantasy series you know exactly what that dynamic is setting up. And I had trouble with why Kenna was drawn to one of the princes, but such is the way of a love triangle right? There is always one leg of the triangle that you want to yell “Girl, what?!” about. At least in my experience.

The portrayal of the fae court was absolutely amazing. The visualization of it was lovely and dark and cruel, I absolutely loved it. I could read stories about this world all day long. This is also definitely NOT a young adult book, though the cover and synopsis and love triangle make it feel like one. There is a lot of violent content in this, but seems to be aiming at the typical young adult romantasy crowd with the cover and synopsis so I hope it will find its audience. I also enjoyed the conflicted nature of some of the fae. Some of them seem to understand why the cruelty of their world should be changed, but at the same time they are immortal and in power so they struggle to find the will to change anything. I really enjoyed the conflicts this presented between the characters and it added a really interesting dynamic to the plot. Also let’s not forget the sentient homicidal dagger. I found that absolutely delightful every time it started whispering to Kenna.

Some of the plot was very well thought out and original, some of it was a bit predictable. It telegraphs where the story is going very early on. But, in the end, even though I knew where the story was going I enjoyed the journey and Kenna so much that I didn’t care. This was a worthy start to a romantasy series and I’ll be tuning in for what happens next.

Josh Malerman’s Latest Thriller: Family Secrets and Horror

by Stefani

Incidents Around the House by Josh Malerman

Published: June 25, 2024 by Del Rey

Buy this book at: Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo

Synopsis:

A chilling horror novel about a haunting told from the perspective of a young girl whose troubled family is targeted by an entity she calls “Other Mommy,” from the New York Times bestselling author of Bird Box
 
To eight-year-old Bela, her family is her world. There’s Mommy, Daddo, and Grandma Ruth. But there is also Other Mommy, a malevolent entity who asks her every day: “Can I go inside your heart?”  
 
When horrifying incidents around the house signal that Other Mommy is growing tired of asking Bela the same question, over and over . . . Bela understands that unless she says yes, soon her family must pay. 
 
Other Mommy is getting restless, stronger, bolder. Only the bonds of family can keep Bela safe but other incidents show cracks in her parents’ marriage. The safety Bela relies on is on the brink of unraveling.  
 
But Other Mommy needs an answer. 

Rating:

Review:

After two books by Josh Malerman, and two disappointments, I think maybe this author just isn’t for me. When I read Bird Box it had problems that severely impacted how much I enjoyed the book. But the horror aspects of the book were superb, and so I hoped that a different story would incorporate those good elements and be a much better story. But alas, another letdown.

The biggest asset this book had was the horror. The descriptions of Other Mommy were downright terrifying. Legitimately sent a chill up my spine. I also really enjoyed the changing narrative as the parents discover what this entity is capable of. At first they think Other Mommy is tethered to the house, then to their child, then she’s just everywhere. That was great.

There were also a few things that I may not have minded if the rest of the story was as good as the horror and suspense. I don’t mind never finding out what a supernatural entity is. From a logical standpoint it makes sense. If my child was being terrorized by some kind of paranormal entity, I wouldn’t give a single shit what the thing was or the origins of it. The only concern I would have is how to get rid of it and save my child. So, the fact that Malerman doesn’t tell us exactly what Other Mommy is was fine with me. He did something similar with Bird Box. So clearly this is a horror element that he enjoys and he uses it well.

I also don’t inherently mind a child narrator. For obvious reasons a child narrator can be limiting to the narrative. There are things that adults understand and can explain that a child cannot. Some authors use this to their advantage, like with Room by Emma Donoghue. But, in this case, I don’t think Malerman understands children. We are told that Bela is 8 years old. She speaks like a 4 or 5 year old child though. Her short, clipped sentences were really distracting and annoying. I’ve had an 8 year old child, I know how they speak. I’ve seen her speaking with her friends, I know how they interact. I find it hard to believe that an 8 year old wouldn’t be able to remember the word reincarnation, and would mispronounce it repeatedly. Many 8 year olds can spell reincarnation and use it in a sentence. I found it really irritating.

I found it hard to understand why Bela trusted Other Mommy. When we start the story, Other Mommy is already terrorizing her. We get no lead up to how this entity earned her trust. Bela tells us that she trusts and loves Other Mommy, and tells her things that she can’t tell other people. But I have absolutely no idea why because the author didn’t bother to show me that relationship at all. I completely understand why Bela would want another mommy, her parents are absolutely insufferable. The only thing her parents seem to do is placate her, not comfort her concerns and refuse to directly answer her questions and then argue about who’s fault it is that Bela is scared. And they both have highly inappropriate conversations with their 8 year old child.

For example, Bela’s mother has a whole conversation with her about why married people sometimes cheat on each other. An why she’s unhappy in her marriage to her father, without saying it’s about her marriage but still this was a highly inappropriate adult topic that had no business being discussed with a child. And Bela’s father likes to sit on her bed when he thinks she’s asleep an have long winded chats about his existential crisis and other pedantic philosophical topics. That was so bizarre. Who does things like that? Who has long philosophical conversations with their apparently sleeping child? I hated them both so much. This entire book convinced that this author doesn’t have children and probably hasn’t spent any time with children in his life.

The ending was also really confusing. I have no idea what happened. In the end this was a book with a good premise and really poor execution. I think I will pass on the next Malerman book that comes my way. He gets a lot of hype but I seem to be reading entirely different books than everyone else.

Taking an Elysium trip: A review

by Stefani

Elysium by Jennifer Marie Brissett

Published: December 1, 2014 by Aqueduct Press

Buy this book at: Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo

Synopsis:

A computer program etched into the atmosphere has a story to tell, the story of two people, of a city lost to chaos, of survival and love. The program’s data, however, has been corrupted. As the novel’s characters struggle to survive apocalypse, they are sustained and challenged by the demands of love in a shattered world both haunted and dangerous.

Rating:

Review:

The best word I can use to describe this book is ambitious. The idea is a really big idea that would be difficult for even the most experienced writer to handle. This came to my attention as an audiobook offering from my library, the blurb intrigued me and so I listened. And honestly, the entire book made me feel like I’d taken a large amount of hallucinogenic drugs.

Essentially, this book is about a computer program that lost its mate. It’s attempting to reconstruct the story of how that happened. And we follow the program through a series of glitches that bring us the same two characters (ostensibly the portrayals of the two computer programs) and put them in varying scenarios before the program glitches again and those characters are recreated as something else. And when I say they become different characters, I really mean that. They switch genders, ages, races, sexualities, motivations, and circumstances. We go from being heterosexual lovers, to gay lovers, to siblings, to parent and child, to a long time couple that has become more of a caretaking situation than a romance, etc. While I found it interesting at first, ultimately it just got very confusing. I could only track the two main characters thanks to the fact that they had similar enough names to track them through these varying tales. Consequently, I found that I didn’t really care about the two characters that much. They were going to be completely different people in just a few pages, and then I’d barely get a chance to know them before they changed again.

I was hoping that we’d slowly get some sort of overarching story that would bind these narratives together. And it started to form by the time I got to the middle, but I tuned out after that. I was lost and my brain was tired of trying to figure out who everyone was all the time. Other reviews tell me that we get a conclusion but I didn’t pay attention to it. The writing is very good but the story was just too messy for me to care about.

A Song to Drown Rivers: Unveiling Xishi’s Epic Journey

by Stefani

A Song to Drown Rivers by Ann Liang

Published: October 1, 2024 by St. Martin’s Press

Buy this book at: Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo

Synopsis:

Inspired by the legend of Xishi, one of the famous Four Beauties of Ancient China, A Song to Drown Rivers is an epic historical fantasy about womanhood, war, sacrifice, and love against all odds.
Her beauty hides a deadly purpose.

Xishi’s beauty is seen as a blessing to the villagers of Yue—convinced that the best fate for a girl is to marry well and support her family. When Xishi draws the attention of the famous young military advisor, Fanli, he presents her with a rare opportunity: to use her beauty as a weapon. One that could topple the rival neighboring kingdom of Wu, improve the lives of her people, and avenge her sister’s murder. All she has to do is infiltrate the enemy palace as a spy, seduce their immoral king, and weaken them from within.

Trained by Fanli in everything from classical instruments to concealing emotion, Xishi hones her beauty into the perfect blade. But she knows Fanli can see through every deception she masters, the attraction between them burning away any falsehoods.

Once inside the enemy palace, Xishi finds herself under the hungry gaze of the king’s advisors while the king himself shows her great affection. Despite his gentleness, a brutality lurks and Xishi knows she can never let her guard down. But the higher Xishi climbs in the Wu court, the farther she and Fanli have to fall—and if she is unmasked as a traitor, she will bring both kingdoms down.

Rating:

Review:

Whew, it’s been a minute since I posted on here. Sorry about that. I rather had a tsunami upend my life for the past month and I did not have the brain power for writing or reading. From some very complicated and emotional things going on in my relationship, and difficult decisions to be made. Then my children kindly shared a stomach bug with me and so collectively there was someone in my house vomiting for about 4 weeks. Then obviously Thanksgiving. My oldest won her class Spelling Bee so we’ve been practicing for the school-wide Spelling Bee. She also had a percussion concern and a choir concert. I don’t know how such introverted parents ended up with such a social butterfly. Anyway, that’s enough about me, on to the book…as lackluster as this one may have been.

I will not claim to be an expert on this Chinese legend, but I was familiar with it before reading the book and read about it further since reading the book. And I have to say, this book could have been amazing. It could have been epic. But instead it was just alright. While the synopsis describes this as an “epic historical fantasy” there is zero fantasy in here. None at all. It’s just a retelling of a legend, written as historical fiction.

The first thing that let me down in this story was the romance. Xishi and Fanli spent a grand total of 13 weeks together, they apparently fall in love during that time. We see hardly any of what happens in that 13 weeks. We rush through it in about 40 pages. Mostly we get a recap from Xishi about all the things they learned. We see the two of them interact only two or three times before they profess their love. And then five minutes later, Xishi is gone. And she’s gone for YEARS. Literal years. And yet she’s still so deeply in love with guy that she almost ruins a plan that was years in the making. What? I just didn’t buy into their epic romance.

The entire beginning of the book felt rushed. Initially I thought that the reason we were rushing was so that we could get to the main portion of the plot. The part where Xishi has to woo the Wu king and set him up to be conquered from within. Once we got there though, nothing happened. We spent so many pages on Xishi smiling demurely and asking the king curious questions that it felt like we were doing nothing. Also, for a book about a concubine this book was very chaste. All sex scenes happen “off screen”, so it felt like they did a lot of laying together chastely in bed and that was about it. Maybe this was because the author typically writes Young Adult, but it felt odd in an adult book about such an adult topic. Ultimately we spent most of our time watching Xishi seduce a drunken idiot, who didn’t seem to be as terrible of a human as the book wanted me to believe.

The ending of this book was really its saving grace. Even though I did not care about the conclusion of Xishi and Fanli’s romance, the ending did have some other excellent moments. The lessons about politics and war were great. I found myself nodding in agreement with every single one of Xishi’s revelations. This was the moment I wanted through the rest of the book. This was the action that I was missing! And the conclusion was as tragic as expected. If the ending hadn’t nailed it then this might have been a 2-star book for me.

A Jingle Bell Mingle Review: Unexpected Roommates and Romance

by Stefani

A Jingle Bell Mingle by Julie Murphy and Sierra Simone

Published: September 24, 2024 by Avon

Buy this book at: Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo

Synopsis:

What happens when there’s no room at the inn and you and your potentially demonic cat become roommates with your grumpy one-night stand?

Part-time adult film actress/one-time adult film director/makeup artist Sunny Palmer has accidentally sold her very first screenplay to the Hope Channel. That was six months ago. Fast forward to a looming deadline, an uninspired Sunny has returned to the source of her inspiration in Christmas Notch, Vermont, to immerse herself in the local Christmas miracle on which her fever dream of a movie pitch was based.

Isaac Kelly, former boy band heartthrob and the saddest boy in the music biz, is the latest owner of the town’s historic mansion. After his years of heartbreak following his young wife’s death, Isaac’s record label is done waiting for new music. What better place to attempt his first holiday album than a snow-covered mansion where he can become a hermit in peace?

But after their best friends’ wedding leads to them waking up together in a freezing motel room with questionable wiring and a broken shower, Isaac takes a chance and asks Sunny to stay with him at his home. Surely the place is big enough that he’ll hardly see her or her unhinged cat. But when the two discover they’re both creatively blocked, they make a handshake deal: Isaac will help Sunny hunt down the truth behind the local lore, and Sunny will find Isaac a new muse.

And with these two opposites under one roof, there’s no way this jingle bell mingle could go off script…right?

Rating:

Review:

Full disclosure but I stopped reading this one back 30% of the way through. I think it just wasn’t my jam. I’m not sure if it was anything to do with the book itself or it wasn’t my style. I also didn’t realize this was the third book in a series, so maybe that would have made the prologue make more sense. We started the book at a wedding with a bunch of people that I didn’t know, a lot of whom seem to be porn stars. But this wedding is the vehicle that brings our main love interest together.

I loved the book’s message of sex positivity, body positivity and acceptance, embracing of the whole spectrum of human relationships. That was great.

Overall there were just too many characters. In the brief portion that I read, I was introduced to at least 15 people and most of them are people that were given no introduction. Even if I had read the other books in the series, a brief refresher would have been a good step to make.

I also think this book is being marketed wrong. Looking at the cover, I expected a pretty typical holiday romance, a cute plot in a Christmasy town and some spice along the way. But then I opened the book to someone shouting “Hey, what’s up tampon string?” Um, ok then. Definitely not the vibe I expected. Perhaps I would have liked it more if it had been marketed at the right audience.

The biggest thing that turned me off this book were the sex scenes. Just not my thing. Honestly, it made me think “Ew, that’s kinda gross.” I am sure there are people out there who will love it, but it just isn’t me. The spicy bits were not my jam. And then I realized that I should stop reading. I didn’t like the way the sex scenes were written, I was confused about characters, and the two main characters hadn’t garnered my interest at all. It was not the book for me.

Cozy Christmas Reads: All I Want is You Review

by Stefani

All I Want is You by Falon Ballard

Published: September 24, 2024 by G.P. Putnam’s Sons

Buy this book at: Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo

Synopsis:

Bitter exes. Professional rivals. Just one bed.
What could go wrong?

Jessica Carrington always wanted her own happily ever after. But, until that happens, she spends her days as a small-time romance writer, penning satisfying Happily Ever Afters to soothe the heartache left by her ex-boyfriend Nick Matthews, a fellow romance writer and now her biggest rival, who has found success writing love stories without happy endings. It’s clearly what he’s good at, after all . . .

So, when their professional obligations find them snowed in – and forced to share a room! – at the same remote inn a few days before Christmas, Jess and Nick are both fuming. But what’s more fitting for two romantic writers in a slump? And when they realise the friction between them might be the only cure for their writer’s block, they decide to turn their frustration into fiction . . . and the pages start flying.

Jess can’t shake the feeling that Nick is the last guy on earth she should be falling for (again), but, as they both finally get back in their flow, is he actually all she wants for Christmas?

Rating:

Review:

The best word I can think of for this book is, it was cute. It was cute and cozy. It made me want to put up a Christmas tree. I really enjoyed the premise of these two being snowed in together and forced to work on a holiday romance book together. I enjoyed the idea of Jess and Nick initially being brought together by writing romance novels, but then they break up and Nick gains a lot more success while Jess is still waitressing to pay the bills. It was a good dynamic that not only brought in the heartbreak of the breakup, but also an element of professional rivalry and jealousy.

The biggest highlight for me in this book was Jess’s two best friends. Honestly, they are the two best friends that every girl needs. One quips, “Open your heart to love!” While the other chimes in with, “Close your legs for ex-boyfriends!” The two of them made me laugh so much. I want them to be my friends in real life.

I had two big drawbacks in this book. One was the flashbacks. We get a lot of flashbacks back to their best memories while they were dating. But all of them are sexual. Didn’t they have nice moments that didn’t include sex? They were together for multiple years so I have to imagine that they did. But we didn’t hear about any of them and so it made their connection seem mostly sexual when it was supposed to be about love.

My other big drawback was the dual POV. It just didn’t work for me in this instance. We hear not only Jess’ conflicted thoughts about still loving him but also being very angry with him and determined to keep her distance. But we also hear how Nick is still madly in love with her, almost from the beginning. There’s no mystery in how either of them are feeling, and so it ruined a bit of the fun for me. I would have rather been left guessing how Nick was feeling about Jess until later in the book. I think that would have worked better for this story.

All in all, it was a cute little romance. It was easy and fun to read. So break out the peppermint mocha, put on your fuzzy slippers and have a Christmasy read.

The Honey Witch: A Magical Love Story in Innisfree

by Stefani

The Honey Witch by Sydney J Shields

Published: May 16, 2024 by Orbit

Buy this book at: Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo

Synopsis:

The Honey Witch of Innisfree can never find true love. That is her curse to bear. But when a young woman who doesn’t believe in magic arrives on her island, sparks fly in this deliciously sweet debut novel of magic, hope, and love overcoming all.
 
Twenty-one-year-old Marigold Claude has always preferred the company of the spirits of the meadow to any of the suitors who’ve tried to woo her. So when her grandmother whisks her away to the family cottage on the tiny Isle of Innisfree with an offer to train her as the next Honey Witch, she accepts immediately. But her newfound magic and independence come with a curse. No one can fall in love with the Honey Witch.
 
When Lottie Burke, a notoriously grumpy skeptic who doesn’t believe in magic, shows up on her doorstep, Marigold can’t resist the challenge to prove to her that magic is real. But soon, Marigold begins to care for Lottie in ways she never expected. And when darker magic awakens and threatens to destroy her home, she must fight for much more than her new home—at the risk of losing her magic and her heart.

Rating:

Review:

**Warning** This review will contain spoilers.

I wanted to love this book. So much. I talked about this book back in May and was really looking forward to it. Unfortunately, I wonder if this book suffered because it was the author’s debut novel. There were many times that I felt as though the author was uncomfortable taking chances. She played it safe and as a result the book wasn’t as good as it could have been. I wonder how amazing this book would have been if the author tackled this idea in 5 years, when she had matured in her craft a little. Alas, we’ll never know.

Marigold was a lovely character. I found her smart, sassy and kind. She fit the role of the Honey Witch perfectly. I also liked that she displayed a lack of confidence in her abilities at first, it made her feel much more real. I wish we had spent more time with her learning her magic because I found that to be the most enjoyable part.

I loved the magic in this book too. It felt real and profound. Tying magic to honey is a brilliant idea. And the book is written in a sumptuous, rich way that reminded me of honey. This brought an unexpected magic to the words that I really enjoyed. It was wonderfully executed and I have no doubt that the author has a very bright career ahead of her.

The worldbuilding in this book was very confusing. It wanted to be Regency-esque. You had the Regency lifestyle, but then there are pieces added in that didn’t make sense at all. The whole first third of the book is a very long diatribe about patriarchy. Marigold expounds at length about how the only ambition a girl is allowed to have in her world is who she marries, which is something Marigold isn’t interested in. So in this world there are very clear class and gender norms that have to be adhered to. Which is very typical of Regency books. But, then you also have complete acceptance of characters who are LGBTQ. And while the author yells at us about partriarchy a lot most of the men in this book are….pretty cool actually. They don’t seem to have any problem with Marigold’s unconventional choices, nor the choices and relationships of others. This felt like the author wanted Regency, but without all the pesky problems that come with that era. As a result the worldbuilding felt inauthentic.

The curse was also really confusing. It served no functional purpose. The curse is that no one can ever fall in love with the Honey Witch. The author tells us that the evil witch cast this curse with the intention of ending the line of Honey Witches. But, as Marigold’s grandmother points out, you don’t need to be in love to have child. Indeed, Marigold’s grandmother used magic to conjure a child out of nothing. You would think that the evil witch had considered those things. The curse functionally serves zero purpose except to create a star-crossed lovers narrative. That narrative was very well executed, but there were many other options for initiating their separation, it didn’t need to be this curse.

The evil Ash witch serves almost no purpose to the story. We are told that the duty of the Honey Witch is to protect Innisfree from the Ash witch. Why does she want it? I have no idea, even after reading the book. Why is the Ash witch evil? Because she does evil things. But why does she do those evil things? No idea. We learn almost nothing about the Ash witch except that she attacked Innisfree when Marigold was a little girl, and she attacks again at the end of this book. We have no idea why she wants Innisfree, why she holds a grudge against the Honey Witches, or why she does anything she does. I really hate villains that are evil just for the sake of being evil. I really hate villains that only do evil things, because it’s not realistic. Not a single living creature is all good or all evil, and all of them have some kind of motivation for their actions. All of these reasons made the Ash witch feel like a cardboard cutout. She is there to be the villain, because the book needs one. It was a disappointing ending.

Annie Jacobsen’s Insights on Nuclear Annihilation

by Stefani

Nuclear War by Annie Jacobsen

Published: March 26, 2024 by Dutton

Buy this book at: Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo

Synopsis:

There is only one scenario other than an asteroid strike that could end the world as we know it in a matter of hours: nuclear war. And one of the triggers for that war would be a nuclear missile inbound toward the United States.

Every generation, a journalist has looked deep into the heart of the nuclear military establishment: the technologies, the safeguards, the plans, and the risks. These investigations are vital to how we understand the world we really live in—where one nuclear missile will beget one in return, and where the choreography of the world’s end requires massive decisions made on seconds’ notice with information that is only as good as the intelligence we have.

Pulitzer Prize finalist Annie Jacobsen’s Nuclear War: A Scenario explores this ticking-clock scenario, based on dozens of exclusive new interviews with military and civilian experts who have built the weapons, have been privy to the response plans, and have been responsible for those decisions should they have needed to be made. Nuclear War: A Scenario examines the handful of minutes after a nuclear missile launch. It is essential reading, and unlike any other book in its depth and urgency.

Rating:

Review:

After listening to an interview with Annie Jacobsen I knew that I needed to read this book. And apparently a lot of other people thought the same thing, because this one had a 6 month waitlist from my library. Even for the audiobook, which is insane because the audiobook normally has a shorter wait time. But I digress. I have long had feelings about nuclear weapons and the idea of deterrence and mutually assured destruction. That has been the stance of world on nuclear weapons. “Well, we both have them, and we know that if one of uses them then so will the other, and no one wants that.”

There’s just one problem with that theory, human nature. Eventually there will be a human who says, “Fuck the consequences, if I’m going down then so are they.” Human nature virtually guarantees this. And this is what Annie Jacobsen explores. She explores in depth the timeline of a nuclear war. Starting at the beginning when there is a satellite confirmation that a missile has been fired. She goes through the exact conversations that would be happening. Was it an accident? Is it just a missile or does it have a nuke on it? Where is it headed? Could this be a misfire? What exactly is going on and how do we respond? The timeline for making this decision is very short. In the best circumstance that timeline is about 6 minutes. Six minutes to try and figure out what happened and if the US will respond. And that is the best case scenario, if a missile was launched from a submarine then the timeframe could be a minute total.

The author also goes through the timeline of just how many times the United States has been on the brink of nuclear war and luckily it hasn’t happened. Did you that in 1983 the Soviet Union’s radar detection system alerted that the United States had launched give nuclear missiles at the Soviet Union. Stanislav Petrov was manning the radar. His procedures required that he report the radar results to Moscow. But he didn’t, because he thought it was strange. Later, he said that he asked himself “Why would the United States only launch 5 missiles? If they wanted a nuclear war, they would fire many more, wouldn’t they?” And he chose to believe it was a false alert. It was indeed a false alert. But think about what could have happened if he had followed procedure?

I spent a lot of time wondering what kind of scenario Annie Jacobsen had created in this book. Was this a best case scenario? Average scenario? Worst case scenario? But then I realized something. She talked about how the Defense Department runs war game simulations on how a nuclear war would proceed. Hundreds of them. Potentially thousands of them. They’ve been running them since the first nuclear bomb was invented. And according to the source Jacobsen spoke to, every single scenario they have run ends in global annihilation. That’s when I realized, it doesn’t matter what kind of scenario it is. They all end the same way. They all end with human beings annihilating themselves. The only solution is for no one to press the button, ever. But even that doesn’t account for accidents. For as long as nuclear weapons exist, this book posits that eventually, for one reason or another, nuclear war is how it ends.

My only complaint is that some of the imagined dialogue is very corny. And I found some of the posited hypothetical events to unnecessary to the situation and it doesn’t add much value.

So, this book was possibly the most frightening thing I’ve ever read. Also one of the most important. I am going to get myself a stiff drink and hope that if nuclear war happens, I’ll be close enough to the blast to be evaporated.

As Nikita Khrushchev said to JFK, in the event of nuclear war “The survivors would envy the dead.” That’s a grim thought, but one that we all need to pay attention to. Do you trust the people guarding that button? I don’t. Not a single one of them.

Chasing Firebirds: The Phoenix Keeper Analysis

by Stefani

The Phoenix Keeper by S.A. MacLean

Narrated by: Stephanie Bentley

Published: August 13, 2024 by Orbit

Buy this book at: Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo

Synopsis:

As head phoenix keeper at a world-renowned zoo for magical creatures, Aila’s childhood dream of conserving critically endangered firebirds seems closer than ever. There’s just one glaring caveat: her zoo’s breeding program hasn’t functioned for a decade. When a tragic phoenix heist sabotages the flagship initiative at a neighboring zoo, Aila must prove her derelict facilities are fit to take the reins.

But saving an entire species from extinction requires more than stellar animal handling skills. Carnivorous water horses, tempestuous thunderhawks, mischievous dragons… Aila has no problem wrangling beasts. Inspiring zoo patrons? That’s another story. Mustering the courage to ask for help from the hotshot griffin keeper at the zoo’s most popular exhibit? Virtually impossible.

Especially when that hotshot griffin keeper happens to be her arch-rival from college: Luciana, an annoyingly brooding and insufferable know-it-all with the grace of a basilisk and the face of a goddess, who’s convinced that Aila’s beloved phoenix would serve their cause better as an active performer rather than a passive conservation exhibit.

With the world watching and the threat of poachers looming, Aila’s success isn’t only a matter of keeping her job: the future of a species depends on her.

Rating:

Review:

I wanted to like this book a whole lot more than I did. For a lot of reasons this one just didn’t work for me. The premise of the book was great. I have always loved the idea of magical creatures and creating a world where zoos are trying to save those magical creatures from extinction is a fantastic idea. Throw in some romance and it should have been a great book.

While I felt like audiobook narrator did a good job, sometimes her tone didn’t match the emotions being conveyed very well. When Aila was supposed to sound determined or anxious, it came across as whiny. I can only partially blame the narrator for this though because Aila is pretty whiny in general. She spends most of this book worrying, hating things and whining about it. She is supposed to be 28 years old but she sounds like a 14 year old. We spend a lot of time hearing about Aila’s social anxiety, but it comes across less as anxiety and more like hatred. She isn’t anxious about social situations and people, she just hates them. As someone who also hates socializing I understand but I would never insist that it’s social anxiety, because it isn’t the same thing. And since the book is told from Aila’s perspective, we have to listen to her talk about really boring things for an awful long time. I got to 40% of the audiobook and she hadn’t even gotten the male phoenix yet. We’d just talked about…things. Not interesting things, just things.

Another issue I had with this book was the worldbuilding. Namely that there wasn’t any. Apart from zoos full of magical creatures I know nothing about this world. I have no idea what the locations we hear about are like, the author didn’t both to tell me. Do phoenixes like in tropical places? Deserts? Mediterranean? I know they like to nest in olive trees, but apart from that clue I was told nothing about this world. I know that DVDs exist and so do emails, so I feel like we’re stuck in the late 1990s or early 2000s. But, that’s all we know about this world. I wanted to know how magical creatures exist in this world? If magical creatures exist, does other magic exist also? If not, why not? I wanted more and I didn’t get it.

The romance was incredibly lack luster and virtually non-existent. Aila spends approximately 70% of this book hating the intended love interest and pining after someone else entirely. They don’t actually get together until the very ending of the book. So while the blurb promises a “soul restoring queer romance”, this is tepid at best.

The “villain” of the book was very boring. First, it was obvious what was going on. The only question I had was if the same person was responsible for the phoenix stealing at the first zoo, or just gotten the idea. The motive was ok but since the character was so boring it just didn’t matter. At no point did I ever feel like there was tension in the plot. Aila professes to be running for her life trying to save her phoenixes from being kidnapped, but I didn’t feel an ounce of urgency or tension.

This book would have been better if it was marketed as a young adult. Aila definitely reads as a young adult character, the romance would be better suited to the young adult genre. Overall I probably would have liked it better. As an adult fantasy it wasn’t very good.

The Crimson Crown: A Captivating Tale of Magic and Betrayal

by Stefani

The Crimson Crown by Heather Walter

Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller

Published: August 27, 2024 by Del Ray

Buy this book at: Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo

Synopis:

Legends tell of a witch who became a queen—the heartless villain in the story of Snow White.

But now the wicked queen is stepping out of Snow White’s shadow to become the heroine of her own legend.

Her real “once upon a time” begins when she is just Ayleth, a young witch who lives in the forest with her coven. The witches practice their magic in secret, hiding from the White King and his brutal war against witchcraft.

Ayleth, however, faces a war of her own. Her magical gifts have yet to reveal themselves, and as the threat of the Royal Huntsmen intensifies, Ayleth fears she will never become the witch her coven needs.

To prove herself, Ayleth sets out on a perilous quest that sends her to the White Palace, a decadent world of drama and deceit. There, Ayleth encounters an unlikely figure from her past: Jacquetta, a witch who once held Ayleth’s heart—and betrayed her.

As events at the palace escalate, Ayleth finds herself caught in the web of the White King, whose dark charisma is as dangerous as the sinister force that seems to be haunting the palace—and perhaps even Ayleth herself. With the threat of discovery looming, Ayleth and Jacquetta must set aside the wounds of their past and work together to survive.

As she uncovers the secrets of the White Court—and those of her own heart—Ayleth must find the strength to transform into someone she never imagined she could be.

A powerful witch, the very wickedest of them all.

Rating:

Review:

This book is such a difficult one for me to rate. Overall, I liked it. That narrator was great, the worldbuilding was great, the idea of the story was great. But for a lot of it, I was just bored. This was a really long audiobook, about 16 hours. That hardcover is 544 pages. That’s a really long book. And I don’t feel like the plot was interesting enough or complex enough to require that many pages. Everything took so long to happen. I have to admit that I dozed off a few times and when I woke up it didn’t seem like I had missed anything at all.

About halfway through is when the plot really started cooking and I felt like things picked up fast. The romance story was fabulously executed. Two women who had been separated through tragic circumstances and then come back together in a time of need. It was romantic. It was sweet. In the end, it was exactly what this book needed. Ayleth was a whiner for a lot of this book and it was annoying. She was upset she had no magic talent. She was upset that everyone blamed her for her sister’s death (no one actually DID blame her, but she kept insisting that people did). She was disgusted by her mother’s affinity for dark magic, but equally horrified at a woman who doesn’t want to affiliate with coven magic. She gets a lot better when she arrives at the city though. She finds her strength in a big way, but I was still left wondering…how exactly does this woman end up as the evil queen? Ayleth was way too big of a goodie two shoes for that.

When it all starts to set into motion though…oh…my…God! My face was painted in shock. All of the little pieces that had been planted earlier in the book came together in the most deliciously evil way possible. I loved it. I was completely enthralled with the ending of the book. If it had all been that fascinating then this would have easily been a 5 star book for me. I positively squealed when we got to the ending and she said the line. “Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” The ending was so great. I really just wish the rest of it could have been just as amazing. I will be reading the 2nd half of this duology an crossing my fingers that it drags less than this one.